Rendezvous with Simi Garewal

SIMI: Welcome to a SPECIAL EPISODE of Rendezvous.....the most hard hitting questions will be asked to India's most famous actors..........

Special guests tonight......SRK, Shahrukh's Nipples, Tranny in Tank Top Zayeed, Aishwarya Rai, Vivek "Orangutan" Obey Rai, Sandaas Khan, ESHA DEOL, Hema Malini, Feroz Khan, Mallika Boobrawat, Karan Johar and Hrithik Roshan.

Simi: Shahrukh, people accuse that you are homosexual, what do you have to say about that?

SRK:......eeeeeeeeeeehehhehee.................Simi............MurHAbba.......that is absolutely wrong. I am try sexual, i try anything that is sexual. Right now I m trying KAran Johar and Zayeed.

Simi: So Shahrukh's Nipples, you have great emotional range and intensity, especially in the scenes that you have to cry. So what is the secret?

Nipples: Well all the director has to do is remind me of the magical nights i.e. every night when Karan Bites me and Zayeed licks me.

Simi: That is so touching ........Shahrukh's Nipples

Tranny in Tank Tops, Zayeed: Who's touching Shahrukh's nipples??? Who??

Simi: Ok Sandaas, a tulip and an oil field has been named after you ex girlfriend. what would you like to be named after you???

Sandaas: *in fake American accent* I would like the dirtiest filthiest toilet in the world to be named after me and the world championship of synchronized farting

Simi: Vivek, what would you like to be named after you like your girlfriend??

Vivek "Orangutan" Obey Rai: I wud like Orangutans to be named Vivekengutans after me and a Zoo............btw Salman farted 41 times on me today

Simi: ASH what do you think of Sandaas's farting?

ASH: It's FAB HOT

Simi: Do you approve of his farting in public??

ASH: I would azzummee its a reflection of our society. Of course people fart, of course people have a unhealthy shitting life. This is the land of Salman Khan but you don't see people around the street corner poohing or being extremely overtly demonstrative publicly..........they do it near the rail track

Simi: Are you willing to fart in your movies?

ASH: I will cross the bridge when I reach it.

Simi: Feroz what do you think about your son??

Feroz: Murhaabbba.............kya khubsoorat naujawan hain???..........ji karta hain isse choom lu............*goes and smooches fardeen*

Simi: Hema, how did you let your son ESHA cross dress in Dhoom. He was wearing so skimpy and small clothes???

Hema: Uuuuhhhhh......mainnnn......aaaaah .......apne bete ESHA ............uuuuhhhhhhhh....aur apni beti Bobby................se bahut ............aaaaaah pyaar karti hooon..............aur .................uummmmnnn.......unhe jo achha lage................karne deti hoon..............aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...

ESHA DEOL: *fart face expression on his face* Huh???

Simi: Mallika, so when are you going to show your boobs in movies???

Mallika: What?? they are not showing already???ooooh I forgot to take the top off ...................wait..........* takes her top off*

Simi: Oooh the resemblance of the twins is uncanny.

Tranny in Tank Tops, Zayeed: Top?? Tranny?? Who called me???

Simi: Hrithik, people say that your muscles are as good as ESHA DEOL. what do you have to say??

Hrithik: Daddy.....*looks for Rakesh*

ESHA DEOL: *fart face expression on his face* Huh???

Simi: your films are successful only if they are made by your dad and Suzzanne looks like an Albino. What do ya have to say??

Hrithik: Daddy.....*looks for Rakesh*

Simi: Karan, you have been linked to Shahrukh, Tranny in tank top, Zayeed and Shahrukh's Nipples..........do you love them??kya tumhe unse pyaar hain??

Karan Johar: Yeh Jism pyaar nahin jaanta, jaanta hain to bas Bhukh......jism ki bhukh......

Simi: Tranny in Tank Tops, Zayeed, what pick up line did Karan Johar use on you???

Tranny in Tank Tops, Zayeed: Karan said......"Hey baby ....you got any diseases??.....Want some?"

tune in soon for next weeks hard-hitting episode.........